Epiphany: Dreams Second, Deserving First – Prioritizing What You Deserve in Life

Hey there, fellow hustlers and dream-chasers. If you're reading this, chances are you're knee-deep in the entrepreneurial trenches, juggling a startup, family life, and that ever-elusive work-life balance. I'm right there with you—mid-thirties, building my AI and development business in Pune's buzzing tech scene, and recently hit with an epiphany that flipped my worldview upside down. It goes like this: Your goals and dreams should be your second priority. Getting what you deserve should always come first.

Sounds counterintuitive, right? We're bombarded with motivational quotes about chasing dreams at all costs—hustle harder, grind through the nights, sacrifice everything for that big vision. But after years of pouring my soul into code, client pitches, and late-night strategy sessions, while trying not to shortchange my family, I realized something crucial: If you're not claiming your worth upfront, those dreams might just burn you out before you ever reach them.

The Spark: From Burnout to Breakthrough

Picture this: It's 2 AM, and I'm staring at my laptop, tweaking an AI model for a potential client who's lowballing me because "exposure" or whatever. My kid's asleep in the next room, my partner's handling everything else, and I'm thinking, "Is this the dream?" That's when it hit me. I've been so focused on the long game—scaling the business, innovating in Pune's competitive tech ecosystem—that I've neglected the immediate: demanding fair pay, setting boundaries, and ensuring my efforts yield the respect and rewards I deserve right now.

As an entrepreneur in my mid-thirties, the stakes feel higher. You're not fresh out of college anymore; there's a family relying on you, bills that don't pause for pivots, and a body that reminds you recovery isn't as quick as it used to be. Chasing dreams without a solid foundation of self-worth is like building a skyscraper on sand—it might look impressive for a bit, but it'll crumble under pressure.

Why "What You Deserve" Comes First

Let's break it down. "Getting what you deserve" isn't about entitlement; it's about self-advocacy in a world that loves to undervalue creators. Here's why it should top your priority list:

1. Sustainability Over Sacrifice: Dreams require energy, and energy comes from being valued. Negotiate that consulting fee like your life depends on it (because in a way, it does). I've started turning down gigs that don't pay what my expertise in AI development is worth. Result? Fewer clients, but higher quality ones—and more time for family dinners instead of endless revisions.
2. Boundaries Build Better Dreams: Family isn't a distraction; it's the why behind the what. By prioritizing what I deserve—like non-negotiable weekends off—I've actually sharpened my focus on business goals. No more guilt-ridden half-efforts; everything gets my best when I'm recharged.
3. Worth Fuels Ambition: When you claim your value first, dreams evolve from desperate pursuits to strategic plays. In Pune's tech hub, where startups pop up like monsoon rains, I've seen too many founders chase unicorn status only to end up broke and bitter. Start with deserving better pay, better partnerships, better balance, and watch how it propels you toward those bigger visions.

Think of it as upgrading your OS before installing new apps. Without a strong base, everything crashes.

Real Talk: Hurdles and How to Hurdle Them

Of course, it's not all smooth sailing. Building a business means dealing with imposter syndrome, market volatility, and that nagging voice saying, "Just take the deal; the dream needs it." Here's some battle-tested advice from my journey:

• Audit Your Worth: List your skills—AI wizardry, dev expertise, whatever—and research market rates. Tools like Glassdoor or LinkedIn can help, but trust your gut. If a client's offer feels off, counter it boldly.
• Balance the Scales: Use time-blocking for family and work. I set "deserve hours" daily—time for exercise, reading, or just chilling. It sounds simple, but it's revolutionary.
• Network with Intent: In Pune's scene, events like TechSparks or local meetups are goldmines. But go in demanding value: Seek mentors who respect your time, partners who pay fairly, and connections that uplift.

One hurdle that's hit home lately? The emotional toll of rejection. Early on, I'd compromise on rates to land a dream client. Now? I walk away if it undervalues me. Spoiler: Better opportunities always follow.

The Payoff: Dreams on Solid Ground

Flipping the script—putting "what I deserve" first—hasn't dimmed my dreams; it's amplified them. My business is growing steadier, family time feels richer, and I'm innovating in AI with fresh energy. It's not about settling; it's about building from strength.

If you're in your mid-thirties, entrepreneur mode activated, and feeling the pull of dreams versus reality, try this shift. Claim your worth today, and let it launch you toward tomorrow's goals. You've earned it—now go get it.

What about you? Drop a comment if this resonates, or share your own epiphany. Let's build better together.

Cheers

Amit Kulkarni